The Receiving End of it All
by rgs38
Summary: Three-shot post "Team Player." Greg reflects on the conversations he had with Ed and the important changes going on in Spike's life and tries to make amends with both of them.
1. Chapter 1

The Receiving End of it All

_Hey everyone! So I wanted to try for a one-shot just to get myself writing but of course I have trouble keeping one-shots down to one. This is probably (no guarantees, you know me) a three shot based on "Team Player" and foreshadowing some stuff after. There's direct dialogue from the episode but it was getting too confusing notating it when trying to separate it from thoughts so you'll figure it out. The really good dialogue doesn't belong to me and neither does Flashpoint unfortunately._

* * *

His focus shifted in and out, aware of what was going on around him but only catches words and phrases as Ed and Spike entered the locker room. His quiet reflection interrupted as the other men chatted in light tones.

"...Craigslist: where priceless family heirlooms go to die." Spike's tone was dripping with bitter irony but Greg was more concerned with his own attempts to clear his mind. He couldn't help his thoughts from racing, cycling between all the people counting on him and all the people looking to him for guidance...for strength.

"But you know, every year the house would smell like wine juice and like yeast and my dad would go down there in the basement every 20 minutes-"

"Spike, come on, let's go. It's late, lot to cover." Greg gave up as he stood and made for the exit of the lockerrom, not bothering to look over his shoulder. He knew that today would be long and hard and he knew that his energy was already gone before their shift even started. It wasn't a good frame of mind to begin the day in but he had no choice but to put on a smile and lead the team like they expected and needed. Greg was barely there but he was at least in the work mindset when the call came through and they began to strategize about the situation they were on their way to.

"Boss, turn your comm off…" It wasn't phrased as a question but Greg desperately wished that he could refuse. He knew by Ed's tone and the hard look in his eyes that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. "You alright?" Ed asked bluntly as Greg shrugged. _Of course he's going to want to pick at this. Of course he's going to go into interrogation mode._ Greg already felt his mind reeling again as Ed continued to question. "Did you see Spike when he came in today?" The question was not what he had expected and he was caught off guard by its simplicity.

"Yeah…" Greg answered, not sure where the conversation was going.

"His mom's moving back to Italy, selling the house, he's on his own for the first time in his life…did you hear that?" Ed was trying to keep the accusatory skeptism out of his tone but Greg didn't notice it. _What? Those are major life changes...I should know about that...I should be keeping a better eye on his since his father passed...another person I've let down..._

"How'd I miss that?"

"That's my point, Greg. Usually you don't so I'm gonna ask you again: you alright?" Ee asked with more purpose this time. He already knew the answer to his question but he wanted to hear it from Greg, wanted to help his friend figure out what was wrong and fix it.

"It's just…stuff at home, Eddie." Greg hoped that the topic would be dropped but he knew better. 'Stuff at home' meant a lot of things for a man who went from being single and alone to a man who now had a steady, serious relationship and a recent reconnection with the son he once drove away.

"Is it Marina?" Greg couldn't help but feel an inkling of pride as he thought about the profiler Ed had become. He might not have known about the nightmares that plagued Marina or the intense emotional reaction she was having to being a hostage months earlier, but he knew enough to pick up on the fact that there was something wrong in their relationship.

"I love having her in my life, I do. But, with everything she's been through…she needs a lot of support and she deserves it. She deserves it she deserves someone there, someone to listen…but sometimes…I come home from work and there she is and I'm burned out, I'm on empty, I'm just…" Greg simultaneously had more to say and had no more words to describe the degree to which he was emotionally drained. Now that it was coming out, he almost didn't want to stop it but he had to. He had to remember his place and his surroundings. He was the infallible leader, the wall of support, he could almost 'talk bullets back into the barrel' and his team needed that pillar of strength to lead them through this day safely. Though Ed signaled for him to turn his comm link back on and continue with the call, his steely eyes left no question that they'd be picking this conversation back up later.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"It can be the strangest things sometimes…like I see red roses and I see his face again…" Marina was trying to hold the tears back as she told Greg about the panic attack that suddenly hit her at the market this morning as she got the ingredients for the dinner they were now sharing.

"Triggers…triggers can be anything. It could take a long time but…that is normal." Greg assured her, lightly taking her hand as he looked sincerely into her eyes. She nodded before gently squeezing his hand back and mumbling that she was going to get some more cheese for the pasta. Greg knew that she was also going to wipe her tears and collect herself. Dean was with friends, she had wanted to cook Greg a nice meal, but she couldn't avoid her demons and he couldn't discourage her from sharing.

He glanced around the table knowing that he should get up and comfort her but he couldn't bring himself to stand. He couldn't bring himself to say a word or even think about what, if anything, to say when she returned to her seat. His eyes settled on the bottle of wine on the table, a nice red that he recognized as he felt his mouth suddenly grow dry. He could almost remember the deep taste of the wine, the flavor that really only served to mask the alcohol he so desperately wanted. He broke his gaze with the bottle and took a large gulp of his water as he let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

_"Hey…hey that was good work. And…thanks for letting me know about Spike, I'm gonna talk to him."_

_"No you're not. You're gonna go home, you're gonna put your feet up. Buddy, you've got too much on your plate let me help you out here."_

_"Eddie, you're worried about me. You don't need to worry."_

_"You know what? You used to say that when you had a date with a bottle of scotch. Go home, I'll file the report."_

Marina came back to the table, luckily interuppting his thoughts as she sat down and they continued to eat the romantic meal. Greg and Marina washed the dishes together before settling down on the couch and watching a movie. It wasn't anything of interest to Greg, some romantic comedy, he was just happy to take the time and allow his mind to drift. He hoped for a mental reprieve, finally a time when no one's life depended on him fixing things but his thoughts wouldn't quiet. His mind kept returning to that morning and his ignorance of Spike's rapidly changing personal situation. As the movie ended Greg realized that Marina was leaning against him, her eyes fluttering closed. He stroked the side of her face and spoke softly.

"Why don't you go to bed? I've got to pick Dean up at midnight and I think I'll stop by Spike's house." Marina looked at Greg questioningly. "He's packing up, getting ready to move, I just want to see if I can help him out at all." Greg didn't add that he needed to talk to Spike, see where he was at emotionally and, (in his opinion, selfishly) try to clear some of his own conscience.

* * *

_Hoping to get the next chapter up soonish. I'm in denial and trying at all costs to avoid next Saturday...it's my 20th birthday and I do not want to accept that. So while I'd like to hole up and try to keep time from passing, my family and friends might have a different idea. Either way, this will be finished before classes start because then I'll be pulled back into the whirlwind of life and will never have free time again. So review, let me know what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2

The Receiving End Of It All-Chapter 2

_Okay, going to see where this gets me. I was originally thinking three-shot but I'm thinking that I might combine the last two chapters into one. "Team Player" isn't one of my favorite episodes so I was surprised when I got an idea for a story based on it but I realize now that it was mostly just in response to seeing the episode. Should have written it all in one sitting, unfortunately now I've lost most of my motivation for this one. So…now that that rant is over, here's the next chapter. I still don't own Flashpoint but I've been loving being part of the team over on Facebook "Flashpoint Team One."_

* * *

It was a perfect night. Warm enough that he could have walked the entire way to Spike's without feeling a need for a coat but he refrained because of his overriding exhaustion. Instead, he drove to Spike's house but found himself lingering on the front porch. It was truly a beautiful, clear night and he finally felt a piece of calm wash over him. But it didn't last long as part of him questioned if he was in the proper state of mind to be talking to Spike. He wanted to help his friend out, to offer a sympathetic ear, but he was so emotionally drained he didn't know if he would be able to give any real help or if he would just make things worse by being sub-par and not meeting the standards that had been built up over years of success and experience.

"Boss?" Greg was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the door open from behind him and see Spike standing on the porch with two boxes piled in his hands.

"Spike, hey…" Greg said as he stepped forward and took the top box. "I wanted to come over and…see how you were doing. I hope it's not a bad time…" Spike nodded his head towards his pickup truck in the driveway and led Greg over to where to put the box. Spike leaned against the side of the truck and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

"Thanks, Boss." Spike said cautiously. "It's not a bad time, just trying to pack up all my dad's old tools and all the little gadgets he used to keep around. You know, stuff that I can't throw out but that's gonna sit in storage until I get sick of a loft apartment bachelor pad." Spike flashed his trademark smile, obviously masking something deeper but sufficient enough for Greg to feel slightly more at ease. At least Spike was able to speak about his father without overriding sadness and resentment; it was a great improvement from where he had been a few months ago. Greg also leaned against the side of the truck and tried to keep his tone friendly.

"When do you officially move out?" He felt an almost inadequate friend, boss, and profiler for not knowing that vital information.

"Well Ma goes to Italy next Friday, she's gonna stay with her sister in their spare room…I don't want her to be alone, you know?" Spike paused for a moment but quickly got back on track. "I'm going to stick around until the end of the month and finish cleaning things out and prepare for the open houses. My new lease starts on the first so that's when I'll be officially gone I guess." There was a touch of disappointment in his tone as he looked towards the house, mostly hidden by the darkness of the night.

"You grew up in this house, right?" Greg asked, already knowing the answer. A smile pulled at the edges of Spike's lips.

"Yeah. Spent my entire life here. I learned how to ride my bike right there," he motioned towards the street in front of the house. "And, see the burn right there on the driveway?" He took a few steps towards the far edge of their property and used his foot to point out a seemingly long scorched piece of concrete. "I kinda…sorta…created a small chemical reaction that had a byproduct of hydrochloric acid when I was 15." Even in the dark Greg could tell that Spike was blushing. "I mean, my brother and I redid the basement from scratch when I was 17 and made it an apartment for him…then my sister got it until she got married…then it was finally my turn." He smiled sadly as he looked at the outside entrance to his home within his home. "It's silly...but I kinda saw myself getting married and living here with my kids…" Spike's eyes seemed to glaze over as he thought about his past and his future. Greg waited a moment before moving closer to Spike.

"That's not silly, Spike. It makes perfect sense that you'd want your kids to have the childhood that you had here. I have no doubt though that, wherever you are, you're going to be a great dad one day." Greg could tell that Spike was blushing again and that the talk of the future was a little too much to continue with. "But, right now," Greg reframed the conversation to get Spike back into the mindset of the current day, "you gonna be okay on your own?" Spike smiled, a genuine smile as he stood up a bit straighter.

"I don't know how you do it, Boss." Spike shook his head in seeming amazement.

"Do what?" Greg asked curiously, hoping that he hadn't misstepped.

"Just…care so much. I mean you take everything upon yourself. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the truck watching you negotiate it's like…it's like you absorb all these people's problems and you just take them on and carry it all. I don't know how you don't explode. It's not an act with you…" He said thoughtfully as they moved to the porch and sat on the front step. "I mean, when Rolie or Troy are negotiating, they feel for the subject, they really try to understand but they don't bring it home. Not like you do, boss." He paused and seemed to be finished but quickly continued. "And it's not just on the job…it's all of us too. I mean you drop everything and come to us when someone gets a little too drunk after a tough call or when you think the stress gets to be a little overwhelming for us…you were there that afternoon that my dad died. You helped me make the arrangements and square things away when my mom couldn't even get out of bed. You were there for me the whole way and…that's just not something that most people take on. I don't know how you have such a capacity to care…" Spike turned and smiled up at Greg with a shrug. Greg didn't really know how to respond. He didn't want to shatter Spike's view of him, he didn't want to shatter the entire image that had been built up around him for so many years.

"It's the job Spike. It's the job and you're all my friends and it's tough but...it's worth it." He tried to convince himself of the last part of his statement. He knew that his job was worth the struggle, it was worth saving those lives, finding those solutions, but the toll it was taking was more pronounced than ever. Spike smiled almost skeptically before he shook his head. He obviously didn't think the answer was complete, it wasn't, but he was satisfied enough with the answer. "And you're deflecting my friend." Greg looked at Spike with a smile. "You're on your own, your mom's gonna be across the ocean, you're leaving your childhood home and you're totally okay with it?" Greg pushed slightly, wanting an answer from his young team member.

"I don't know." Spike said after a moment of contemplation and a shrug. "Things change." He rubbed his temples as he leaned forward, a pose that reminded Greg of himself for a moment.

"Yeah...yeah things change but so many things all changing at once...it's gotta be really overwhelming Spike." Greg hoped that, for his own well being, Spike would open up and let out some of the pent up emotion but he couldn't help but fear that he wouldn't be able to respond or, worse, he wouldn't be able to give the right answer. He wouldn't be able to solve the problem, he wouldn't have those words of wisdom that everyone thought were so abundant in his mind.

"It is. It's stressful and it's scary as hell and some days I wonder how I get through the day but..." Spike paused and looked at Greg. "But it'll get better. I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. I'm glad that this is the life I've chosen for myself and I'm glad that I stuck to my guns when everyone was telling me to quit. I'm glad that I've been able to spend all this time with my family and I have the best damn friends in the world. I'm gonna be okay, boss. I've just got to remember that like everything else, this too will pass. You taught me that, boss, remember?"

_Greg's mind reeled as he tried to remember, spurred back into his memories as the phrase Spike spoke brought him back. It was fall, years ago. Ed's voice over the phone when he called late one night; he couldn't rouse Spike for check in on the phone or when he banged on his door for an hour and, somehow, he had altered his door so that anything short of a battering ram wouldn't be able to penetrate it. He remembered the dim lighting and the stench of beer when Spike's mother eventually let him in secretly, neither Spike nor his father knowing of their visitor. It took some lock picking skill, the door leading in from the house was less fortified than the door leading directly outside but Spike had still taken extreme measures to make sure he was alone._

_It took Greg a while to find him. He didn't want to startle him by turning on the lights of calling out but the more he saw the more he worried. Beer bottles, mostly empty laid on the kitchen table and in the sink of the small kitchenette in his basement apartment. Bags of chips mixed with half eaten chinese food containers. At least he was eating something. A quick scan of the living room showed no signs of Spike so Greg proceeded through the open door of the bedroom. He almost didn't see him laying so still, almost curled in on himself under the comforter of his bed. Greg had tried to get him to talk, tried to understand but each man's grief was unique and deep and seemingly inescapable. Lou was Spike's best friend and he felt like the loneliness and the sadness and the pure emotion would burry him. Greg knew that it felt that way, he'd lost friends and he'd lost Lou but nothing he could say would reassure Spike that what he was feeling was normal and that things would feel at least a little bit better with time. So Greg stopped being a negotiator and a profiler and just sat. He slept on Spike's couch and cooked him some real food and for two days Spike didn't say a word. It wasn't until late that second night that Greg woke up suddenly; he would never admit it but the nightmares were always the hardest part for him. But tonight it almost felt like a blessing as he found Spike also awake, the only light coming from the open refrigerator. Spike looked up as Greg rose and, even in the dark, the eye contact was obvious._

_"When?" It was almost so quiet that Greg wasn't sure if he imagined it. "When...how..." the words were barely escaping his lips. Greg had gotten up, walked over without even realizing it and before he could comprehend all the possible meanings Spike's words could hold he was answering._

_"Like everything else in life, Spike, good and bad, this too will pass. And I'll be here for you, you're not going to be alone."_

"Boss…you okay?" Spike asked with a hint of a smile as Greg returned to reality.

"Yeah…yeah I think I'm gonna be okay, Spike."

* * *

_Wow…this is a super different direction than I wanted to go and that I planned on going but I think it turned out okay. The entire thing about Lou I didn't mean to happen and I kind of broke my own rule because you never say "it'll get better" to someone who's upset like that (well I don't think so and even though I've only taken the basic crisis intervention classes I gather it's not the best thing) but it worked. Short chapter left on this, really short. I was thinking about adding it here but you all deserve an update because you're probably not getting another until mid-August…don't kill me, just review. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

The Receiving End of It All-Chapter 3

_So good news: there's a hurricane approaching! Classes canceled for at least two days and I've really been wanting to write so I'm going to give it a shot. Bad news is that power will most likely be going out for an extended period of time within the next few days so...But I do owe you guys an update. I know I said I would finish this before the end of August but obviously I didn't do a good job predicting the amount of time I had left in the summer. I wish I had more time to write! But here's the conclusion to this one (at least I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger.) I'm not quite sure if this is where I was going to go with it but it's something. Let me know what you think please, I've been getting some flames on my older stories and they've kind of got me down so I could use the encouragement._

* * *

"Hey, you guys enjoy the movie?" Greg asked as Clark and Dean got into the backseat of his car just before midnight. He'd sat with Spike for a little while longer, just talking about different things and helping him pack up a few boxes. Greg was convinced that Spike would be okay, even if a little upset when his mom moved back to Italy and when he eventually had to move out but he was almost surprised at how much his young bomb tech had matured over the past few years. It had been a hard road for Spike but Greg was confident he would come out on the other side of things okay.

"It was okay." Dean said with a shrug.

"Well, it probably would have been better if you took your eyes off that blonde two rows in front of us." Clark said jokingly as Dean playfully slapped the back of his head and told him to shut up.

"Yeah, well at least I don't stare at Jen in Chemistry class every day!" They playfully threw jabs at each other for most of the drive back to Ed's house. When they got to the block they were back on the topic of school.

"Mr. Parker, is it okay if Dean comes up to my room for a few minutes? I'm having trouble with the last set of problems on our chemistry homework and I really need to do well on this assignment." Dean was naturally gifted in science and had been hanging out a lot with Spike since he'd returned to Toronto, picking up a lot of skills from him.

"As long as it's okay with your parents." Greg said as he pulled into Ed's driveway, not surprised to see the garage light on and Ed leaned over a car. Ed had been working for months to restore the old car and was planning on giving it to Clark as a surprise for his birthday once he got his drivers license.

"Dad, is it okay if Dean comes upstairs and helps me with my chemistry homework for like, 15 minutes?" Clark asked as he got out of the car and Ed approached them.

"Yeah, as long as it's okay with Greg and you guys are careful not to wake Izzy." Ed nodded as he wiped oil from his hands. The boys nodded and carefully opened the door and went upstairs. Greg got out of his car and walked into the garage with Ed.

"How's the restoration coming?" He asked as he looked under the hood and Ed moved the light slightly.

"It's coming along. I think Clark's figured out it's for him but he's trying to humor me and hasn't said anything." Ed leaned back in and threaded his fingers between some wires and containers. "Can you hand me the wrench over there?" He asked as he motioned with his head towards his tool bench. Greg handed it to him as they fell into silence. "You wanna talk about what you said in the car this morning?" Ed asked nonchalantly. He didn't want to push Greg but hoped that he would take the invitation.

"I was a little overwhelmed but thanks for taking the paperwork after the call and giving me the night off." Greg flashed a smile but it was obvious that he just wanted the conversation to end. Ed had different plans though.

"As I remember it, you were mid sentence saying that you were burned out, on empty...what else were you gonna say Greg?" Ed pressed slightly, needing to know the depth of what his friend was dealing with.

"It's nothing Eddie, just needed a little time to clear my head."

"That's the thing, Greg. When do you get that time?" There was a pause as Ed waited for an answer he knew wasn't coming. "At work you put yourself out there physically and emotionally, you put your entire being into negotiations and when they don't pan out, hell even when things do work out, I see you're drained. Then you've got Marina and Dean at home, both people that you need to offer yourself emotionally to and that you also have to listen to and help. And then you've got the team and you take on responsibility for their well being so that leaves me with two questions: when do you have time to recharge and who's looking after you? I know you're not sleeping so don't even thing of trying to sell me that, and if you're not letting me in then you're not letting anyone in." Ed spoke matter-of-factly, not judging, not angry, and that's what got Greg. It took a moment for him to form his thoughts and response but was still unsatisfied.

"I don't know, Eddie." He said simply, softly. "I don't know how to keep going like this...I'm just tired." Greg sighed as he rubbed his temples, "I'm tired of work and people just spilling their souls to me and not being able to do anything to help their pain. I'm tired of feeling inadequate and like I always have to have the right thing to say and I'm just physically and emotionally drained. So you're right Eddie, maybe I need a break but I know that if I take one...I'm not sure I'd come back."

"What do you mean, Greg?" Ed asked, slightly worried now.

"I just don't know if I can do this anymore..." Greg spoke carefully as Ed straightened, ready to give Greg a piece of his mind just as the door of the garage opened.

"Thanks Dean, I think I get it now but I'll text you if I get stuck."

"Yeah, number 23 is a real doozy so make sure to remember that you have to transfer the ions and electrons when the reaction occurs." Ed and Greg shared a look and silently communicated that the conversation wasn't over.

"I'll see you in the morning, Ed." Greg said with a significant nod. He would fight another day, he would do his best to overcome this bump in the road, but it wouldn't be without the help of his friend.

* * *

_Not exactly the way I wanted it to go but I couldn't resolve things here because I love "Slow Burn" too much. So, no big talk from Ed here but I could never top what he does for Greg in "Slow Burn" so just watch that episode again to see how I see this ending. Imagine these as extra scenes I guess. Like I said, the style might not flow much with the rest of these chapters because I wrote those in like July and it's pretty much November now but I really hope you enjoy. Sorry again for the long wait but please do review, reviews make me write more when I have time (fair warning, probably won't have time until winter break) but I've got lots of ideas. Thanks for the read._


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